Thoughts on thoughts

I’ve come to discover that I need to write. Writing helps me tune in and understand myself more deeply. As an introverted being, sharing my writing allows me to connect to the world outside of myself. 

Instinctively, I think I’ve always known this. I kept a travel journal as I wandered the globe years ago. I did the same when I documented the design and build of our home in Ottawa. But as the house was getting built and life was becoming ever busier, underprocessed events and emotions were building up in the background. When it was complete and my family moved in, I went quiet. To write felt overwhelming. Eventually, everything felt overwhelming. 

I’m recovering from burnout. I’m not sure what that means exactly or if a ‘recovery’ is the correct word to describe it. It makes it seem as though I’m looking to return to a previous state—what was—instead of moving towards something net new. But maybe that ‘new’ is just me, the me who has always been here, I’ve just never really gotten to know. In which case, perhaps ‘recovery’ is the correct word. Woah. Case in point: writing helps me sort things out.

Writing is hard and uncomfortable for me because getting to know myself just is. What if I don’t like myself? Or worse others don’t like me? Gak! Confronting these fears and opening myself up to what is possible is my new path forward. Welcome to my process of reflection and self-discovery.