The Portrait Project
Over the past couple of years, I’ve been trying to get to know myself. Previously, this was something I actively avoided and neglected. Why? That’s a much longer story. Probably a combination of my Canadian-girl-growing-up-in-the-80s conditioning, being a middle child, and my innate tendency towards introversion and social anxiety. OR accepting what is: just because. I showed compassion to everyone other than me, myself and I. Thinking about ‘me’ felt naughty, selfish—the ultimate faux pas. After becoming aware of this self-disdain, I finally decided to do something about it.
My ‘way in’ was through painting self-portraits. I’ve always appreciated a good self-portrait. I once saw a brilliant Freida Kahlo portrait exhibit at the Tate Modern, which deepened this appreciation. They captured her at various stages of her life in compelling and emotional ways. It took me aback and stuck with me. When I applied to art school, I needed to submit a self-portrait as part of my portfolio application. I struggled with it. This time around, with no strings attached, I just looked in the mirror and went for it, using whatever supplies I had on hand (mostly my kids’ acrylics and brushes). I committed to accepting whatever my paintbrush produced without judgement. These paintings were an excuse to carve out space to connect with me. Eventually, I wanted to connect with others too. And so, I invited friends and family to join me in my portrait sessions. There were no rules for them to follow, no instructions; I just wanted them to do the same :) We amassed quite a few along the way.
My self-portrait practice is one I’ll continue indefinitely. I might even sign up for some art classes (ha!).
